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Nine Security Guards, Pepper Spray, and a Soft Cock

Visiting my hometown, the night started with friends coming over, hanging out in the garage. Drinks galore, Whiteclaws on Whiteclaws, shots on shots. Before I knew it, I'm on my way to a club in Santa Monica. Once at the club and I'm on repeat, shots -> dancefloor -> shots -> dancefloor. I'm so drunk they kick me out. Of course, I'm not done partying. Now the mission begins, I'm sneaking back in. I scour the area for vulnerabilities. Behind the club, I see a climbable wall to the roof. Half the club is outside so if I can get onto the roof I can get back in. I climb up the wall then walk across the roof to the open section of the club. One mistake, it's a huge drop on the other side. There's no way I can make the drop without being hurt and noticed. I retreat back to the wall. Looking over the ledge there's a security guard waiting for me. Shit, what do I do now? I can't simple climb back down the way I climbed up and to make matters even wo...

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