Nine Security Guards, Pepper Spray, and a Soft Cock

Visiting my hometown, the night started with friends coming over, hanging out in the garage. Drinks galore, Whiteclaws on Whiteclaws, shots on shots. Before I knew it, I'm on my way to a club in Santa Monica. Once at the club and I'm on repeat, shots -> dancefloor -> shots -> dancefloor. I'm so drunk they kick me out. Of course, I'm not done partying. Now the mission begins, I'm sneaking back in. I scour the area for vulnerabilities. Behind the club, I see a climbable wall to the roof. Half the club is outside so if I can get onto the roof I can get back in. I climb up the wall then walk across the roof to the open section of the club. One mistake, it's a huge drop on the other side. There's no way I can make the drop without being hurt and noticed. I retreat back to the wall. Looking over the ledge there's a security guard waiting for me. Shit, what do I do now? I can't simple climb back down the way I climbed up and to make matters even worse the security guard is on his walkie with backup. With no time I jump and go for a fence grab. Maybe if I was sober but now I'm on my ass. The security guard grabs me, I go for the underhook, lean right, throw left. I make a sprint for the street, backup is running in. I sprint past all nine of them. As they're chasing me one is able to get the tackle. With this security guard on top of me, I reverse the position. Another security guard whips out his pepper spray and starts going to town on my eyes with it. Pepper Spray gets everywhere and we're all suffering from this shit. I can't open my eyes, the pain is absolutely horrendous. I'm not giving up just yet, I make a run for it blind. I'm running into parked cars, tripping, and falling but I'm not giving up. The security guards didn't have the same will. I escape. Now I battle a hangover of a lifetime.

-Mr.Swarmi